Community and connection

I’ve been feeling a bit lonely lately.

Are you feeling the same?

I got a great team I get to work with. A great wife. I get to travel and meet people, which I love.

But my day-to-day when at home, working, in front of the computer, is draining me.

Yes, I get to hang with people on zoom.

But it’s not the same as hanging with people IRL.

Do you feel that way, too?

It’s interesting because I used to love that. If I could avoid having any contact with people, that was the best. Just leave me in front of the computer, coding, and I’m fine. Leave me alone.

It started in school where I was bullied. I didn’t feel safe there. Didn’t feel terribly safe at home, either, come to think about it.

The computer became my safe space. It wouldn’t say nasty things that made me feel bad. I could control it. Made me feel powerful and in charge.

That all changed about two and a half years ago when I went to Necker Island. In case you’re not familiar, it’s the private island of Richard Branson, the famous entrepreneur.

I went there with a group of 30 entrepreneurs, many of whom had flown there on their private jets.

Being stuck on an island with a bunch of strangers for a week really brought all of my school issues up again.

I felt like I didn’t belong. I wasn’t worthy. Felt different. Needed to make myself different, too.

And it was tremendously healing.

That's the beauty of just feeling your feelings, with compassion and love.

You don't need to understand a whole lot. You just need to let it all flow through you.

That trip became a major opening in my life.

(In fact, I'll be going back next year in April. Let me know if you'd like to join.)

Since then I've been to many many more retreats and events and gatherings and trips with amazing people, built friendships and relationships that are nourishing and fun and full of love and care.

So much so that these days I’d much rather be with people than sit in front of a computer.

Or if I am to sit in front of the computer, at least do it around other people that I love and care about and am doing fun and challenging work with.

It’s funny how things can change when we let it.

So back to the question: Are you feeling that longing for community and connection as well?

I have a feeling it’s not just me.

Love,
–Calvin