Taking A Break

I've just taken a vacation for a week, hence the missing newsletter last week.

I rarely go on vacation. I think last time I went somewhere just to take a vacation was 5 days in Miami in March 2014!

I always have this resistance towards going before leaving. Then once I'm in the car toward the airport, I'm fine.

There are many reasons for the resistance. See if you can relate.

First, I'm introverted, so I have a slight resistance to meeting new people. For example, I'd much rather watch a TV show where I already know the characters and the universe, than a movie where I have to get to know an entire new set of characters and a new universe, only to have it disappear permanently 2 hours later.

I also have a tendency to low self-worth, so naturally a vacation is not something I feel worthy of.

And I get into this hyper-productive mode where I'm learning and programming and answering emails and I'm making so much happen. People look at my screen and fingers in amazement. It's really effective, and I really like it, and don't particularly want to let go of it.

I'm scared about forgetting something. What if I leave something behind I need. I've put together a reusable master packing list, so I don't forget anything. It includes things like "ear plugs" and "nexus license dongle" —a USB licenser for a piece of music software, it helps.

Of course, it's also expensive! Flights, hotels, renting a car, and eating out, it all adds up. And all this time our expensive apartment in New York is just sitting there, without being used. Shucks! 

I've always been a lover of the ordinary day. My favorite Danish poet, Dan Turéll (whose dentist I'd used until his death a couple years ago, just as a way to stay connected with the great poet), has a poem which states, "I love the ordinary day", as opposed to the weekend or the party or the vacation. Just the ritual of getting up, eating breakfast, green tea, working, shopping for dinner. Some people live for the exceptional, the party, the vacation, the fancy, the special. I love the magic of the ordinary, everyday life.

I also dread the logistics of travel, especially the planning. The buying of plane tickets, organizing dog sitting, booking hotels, and packing - oh, lord! the packing! Airports, ugh. Security check. Waiting. Elevator. Car. Walk. Wait. Walk. Shoes off. Belt off. Laptop out. Opting out. Body pat-down. Pack laptop again. Shoes on. Belt on. Walk. Wait. Walk onto the plane. I'm already exhausted, and we haven't even left the ground.

So many reasons not to go on vacation. 

But, whenever I do take time off to go on vacation, I have big breakthroughs. This time I learned a lot about standing up for myself and believing in myself. I discovered my core message on a windy beach in Malibu and I discovered new beautiful layers of my relationship with my wife, Nomi.

Also, if that wasn't enough, I got to spend time with two of my friends and mentors, Gay Hendricks and Baeth Davis. Both have changed my life many times over. Gay, with his insights, his humor, his lightness and ease, and his amazing books, which I require all my coaching clients to read and implement. Baeth, has given me a blueprint for my life, which I refer to each and every day of my life. I feel so lucky to surround myself with such beautiful people.

It's so important to go and get that perspective on your life. It may take a couple days to wind down and get to that vacation mode, but then the insights start dropping like water in a silky smooth hot shower.

There's the tunnel vision where you're super focused, and there's the helicopter view where you're looking at the big picture and ignoring the details. Like the in-breath and the out-breath, both are critically important. I find that there are micro-waves and macro-waves. In my day-to-day life, I may be super focused during the day, and then relax and broaden my view over dinner. Taking a vacation lets you go higher up, take a bigger big-picture view of your life, and tap into dimensions that you normally don't access.

That's the big benefit of vacations.

I know that a lot of you fellow entrepreneurs out there are like me and tend to under prioritize vacations. I'm here to remind you of just how critically important and valuable they are. Go take a vacation. You can thank me later.

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Lots of love,
–Calvin