I was feeling completely beat.
I was done with a day full of meetings for the day at 4 pm, and I was ready to get to do some "real" work.
Or so I thought.
But instead, I was tired.
Lethargic.
Depressed, even.
Bored to tears.
In other words, I was in a crisis of meaning.
You know you're in a crisis of meaning when you're asking questions like "why am I doing this?" "what's the point?" "why bother?" "who cares?".
So I ended up just making dinner, walking the dog, watching some video, and then heading to bed.
The next morning, I cleared my schedule and went out for some alone time.
I'm bored by my day to day work routine.
Why am I bored?
Too many damn meetings! Too much scheduled time!
I'm a creator. I need large blocks of unstructured creative time.
I'm trying to run a team with regular meeting rhythms. That's terrible for me. I suck at that. It drains me of my life energy.
I've known the whole time that I need someone to run operations because that is not me.
But I hadn't quite realized how big a toll it was taking on me.
But now I did.
Time to make some changes.
What are the creative projects I'm really excited about?
Let me make sure I have plenty of time to work on them.
The point isn't how I chose to restructure my day.
The point is, next time you're in a crisis of meaning, don't try to power through it. Don't try and motivate yourself out of it.
Really listen to what it has to tell you, and what needs to shift for you.
A crisis of meaning can last months or, as in my case, about 16 hours, give or take.
It's up to you.
Most people when they find themselves in a crisis of meaning try to resist it, out of fear of what it may require of them.
Don't do that.
There's ALWAYS something GREAT waiting for you on the other side.
Dive in there. Feel all the feels. Listen to your heart.
And you'll come out the other side so much stronger, and with much greater clarity.
With passion,
–Calvin
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