How to know if you're doing the (right) thing...
Tips from a boat-trip
Let me tell you (yet another) story.
(I wish some of it wasn't true).
In February 2019 Simplero's marketing team met up in San Diego. We attended a very interesting marketing conference, but maybe even more important; we got together to pump up our teams' internal synergy (which is always magical). On the very first day, Calvin had bought us tickets for a 5 hour trip on a luxury yacht with a helicopter pad and free drinks. Apart from being a nice gesture, the hours we spent there were very fruitful—since there was nothing else to do and nowhere else to go. Eventually, we sat down and started talking about things that could potentially propel our business forward in not so subtle ways.
And that's not something to be mournful of.
But even though we had a great talk and some life-changing insights on that trip, the one thing that stands out in my memory after the trip...
Is a tragic event, that made us all think about how we live our lives.
Calvin talks about it in one of his latest live videos.
The link is below.
Let me address my own subject line...
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How to know if you're doing the (right) thing...
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Here is the thing, my friend.
There is (of course) NO sure-fire way to know if you're doing the right thing.
You simply can't control everything that happens to you.
But there is a way to be at peace with what you do.
If I were you, I'd go listen to Calvin's take on that and THEN go have a great rest of the day, knowing that you're being that person...
Community Manager at Simplero
Here is a transcript of the live video, if you'd rather read it:
Hey, everybody. How are you doing? I wanted to talk about a couple things here.
At Traffic and Conversion at the conference that we were all just at last week we saw this lady speak, Rachel Hollis. Her book Girl, Wash Your Face I had never heard of it before. It says number one New York Times bestseller. Apparently she helps women with believing in themselves kind of thing. She was really ... I loved her. She's so good. Her message was something ... Like every single thing that she said there onstage is something that I'm like, "Yeah. That's what I want to say. That's exactly what I want my message to be."
By the way, you can see my suitcase over there. I'm flying to Denmark later tonight to work with my mentor Bengt Valentino Andersen from Body SDS.
Actually that dovetails nicely because one of the things that she talked about was you have to be the person ... You have to be ready for the things that you want. She told a story of this book that she wrote and she was a wedding planner and she wrote a book about planning weddings, like a novel with names changed and stuff, and then she shopped it around. She found this lit agent who said like, "Yeah. I can sell it easily." Then shops it around to all these publishers and they all reject it and then one of them goes and says, "Could you add some sex to it?" She was like, "No." Ends up self-publishing it and it ends up being a sleeper hit.
Her point was that one of the reasons why it succeeded was that it didn't have sex. Everything else had sex. Hers didn't. It was the sweet one. Also, she was like, "Were these publishers wrong to reject her?" She was like, no, she wasn't ready.
She wasn't ready for it.
That was the message that stuck with me.
It seems like 10 years ago when I started being part of this internet marketing community, I went to a bunch of conferences and bought a bunch of products and really immersed myself into it and started teaching it. I saw this potential for changing that world by adding this piece of this ... I call it spirituality but I also say spirituality done right is just reality. It's like it's really about that, being the person instead of trying to get the results.
Like be the person that gets the result.
Don't try to cheat your way to it or hack your way to it.
Strategies and tactics are fine, right? But ultimately it's about being that person. There's a saying of like fake it until you make it, right? Which tends to just make faking a habit.
This morning I woke up to pretty shocking news. There's this name Brandon Stapper, who I didn't really know but I did meet him last Sunday in person so a little over a week ago because he organized a ride on a cruise ship. Like five hours on the San Diego Bay on this luxurious private yacht. I brought the team along as a little outing for the team, a nice little perk and benefit. Well, it turns out that Brandon got killed yesterday in a helicopter crash in Kenya, which seems ... I don't really know the guy but we did spend ... We were the first people there before Brandon even arrived and could get us onboard. We did spend some time hanging out and talking to him and he seemed like a cool dude, smart, and now he's dead.
It's one of those things where you're like, "O-M-G." It's kind of on brand for him to die that way because he was ... He organized that ride. He organized it ... It was like a helipad on this yacht. He arranged a helicopter that would fly people on these tours and all that. It seems like if you've got to go that's definitely an on brand way to go.
It makes you think, right? What is this life? What are we doing with it? Are we doing things that matter? Are we doing things that matter to us? Like that have meaning and value to us. Are we on this treadmill trying to gain more followers or make more money and prove ourselves to our moms and dads or friends or whatever the hell it is? Who cares about all that stuff? Who cares about how much money you make? Who gives a shit how much money you make really? Right? Who gives a shit?
I don't give a fuck how much money you make.
I give a fuck what you're doing with your life. Not in some comparative way like, "Oh my God. You're like Mother Teresa." No, who are you being? It's not the actions. It's not the outward. I don't want social virtue signaling like, "Oh, look how good I am. I help all the old ladies over the road." Crap.
Who are you being inside of yourself? That's what I care about. What kind of person are you being? Where are you coming from? We're all starting in different places, right? What are you doing with the hand that you've been dealt? With the cards that you've been dealt on your hand? What are you doing with it to just be a better person?
Be a better person.
Not to prove it to anyone but just for you.
That's what I care about for you. I think that's the way that we make any kind of change. Gandhi says, "Be the change you want to see in the world", right? Joseph Campbell said, "Follow your bliss." In that Power of Myth series he was like explicitly saying the way that you make the world a better place is by being in your bliss. By being in bliss then you will automatically, just by virtue of how you're being, you're going to have a positive impact on the world.
Nothing is worse than these people who actually feel like crap inside and they're so busy fixing other people's problems, right? "Oh, I feel bad so now I need to be your therapist" or make you meditate or make you do yoga or heal the world in some way. That's useless. It's bad. Take care of yourself. Take care of yourself. Work on your own bliss. Then literally everything else is going to follow from that. Your relationships are going to be good when you're coming from that place, customers are going to like you. You're going to have a positive impact on people. A real, positive impact on people.
Not just like, "Oh, now there's a tactic or strategy to make more money" or get more followers and all that crap. Again, who gives a fuck? Who gives a fuck? Be the person ... Be ready for the things. I believe that we're here to have all the things that we want in life. All the toys and money and all these things, yes, but it starts with being the person, not with trying to get the things. That's backwards ass.
You be the person inside and then it comes to you naturally because it's easy, because that is natural. That's really my takeaway. In that process, stop listening to all these other people. Listen to yourself. Listen to yourself. Listen to that quiet inner voice.
I recently quit alcohol. About five, six weeks ago. Completely. For good. I loved alcohol. I counted it. I have 117 bottles of liquor in my kitchen. I got really into mixology and all these esoteric liqueurs and all this various stuff and mixing them and doing all these things. Now I'm having to figure out how to get rid of that shit. I have specialty glassware and the shakers and all the gear, of course, that I now need to get rid of. What was my point with that? My point was just ... I forget what my point was. Like thinking for yourself was the point I was working on. Society has, "Oh, alcohol is normal." You don't have to buy into that stuff. I really have no idea right now what the point was. That wasn't my point. I know that wasn't my point with that.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Here's my point. That voice inside. I knew for years, at least for a couple of years, that I had to quit alcohol completely and that was the right thing for me. It just affected my thinking too much and too many things. I was like, "Maybe not. I'm not sure." I knew, I knew that that was going to be the path for me. Just like eliminate it completely. Not like sometimes and not like on the weekends or special occasions and all that. It was a process for me to get there to be ready for that. Your inner voice knows it.
I'm reading this book about ... It's called A Big Fat Surprise about how we've been lied to about fat and how vegetable oils are better and saturated fats are bad and all that crap, right? Which is bullshit. It's just not true. We've been told that consistently. It seems to me that there's a lot of people in that world who were saying that who kind of knew it wasn't true but they were overriding their inner voice. They were overriding what they knew to be true inside. That's the thing I want you to never, ever do again. Whenever you feel that voice inside that says, "I know I need to quit alcohol" or, "I know what I'm doing here is wrong ..."
Like Brandon, the guy who just got killed in a helicopter crash in Kenya, he said this thing like, "I bet you like half the people in this boat right now ..." He had sold tickets. It was $575 a person to be on this boat. I think he sold like 60, 65 seats on it. There was drinks and people got pretty drunk and food and all that stuff and you got to hang out on the boat for a while. He said, "I bet you half the people onboard this boat right now ..." They're all internet marketers, "Are standing there doing that lifestyle video on Instagram that says like, 'Oh, look at me. I'm here on a private yacht because I make so much money from all that ..."
Like it's baloney obviously. It's complete bullshit, right? We don't believe in it. I don't have a private yacht. I got to go on a private yacht. I got to bring the boys. We just paid $575 a person, which is a significant chunk of money but it's not like I owned the boat or it's mine or I rented the whole thing for a week or anything like that, right? I mean, anybody can do that if they want to.
There's nothing special about it. It's not like the, "I'm living the lifestyle" and all that crap. He was making fun of it because we all know it happens, we all know it's there. I bet you the people who are doing that they know inside that they're doing something that's wrong. Like they're lying right now. I bet you it doesn't feel good. It does not feel good inside, right? That's what I really want. I want you to honor that voice that knows when you're faking it, that knows when you're bullshitting, that knows when you're doing something that you know is wrong.
You don't necessarily ... Like with my drinking I had to get around to it. I had to get ... I changed my diet, I changed my workout, I changed all these things and then it just naturally fell into place. I started to notice that they paid more attention to it. It was like, "Oh, I notice that when I'm drinking I'm actually not really enjoying it." What happens when you start drinking is blood alcohol level goes up and then it starts slowly to drop and that starts the craving that starts to feel bad. It's basically the hangover starting and then you need more to feel better again. You need more and more and more and more. That's just how that works.
I noticed that I didn't feel good. It didn't feel good while I was drinking. I certainly didn't sleep well and I didn't feel good the next day. I was like, "Okay, at this point what's the fucking point?" Right? What is the fucking point if I don't enjoy it while I'm doing it, I don't enjoy it after I do it. It costs money. I think my brain is impaired. I can't think as well.
What the hell is the point?
Not trying to make you quit alcohol. I'm just sharing my story there. In terms of that little inner voice that says, "I kind of know. I kind of know what I need to do here."
That's my message for you today. Just listen to that inner voice because it already knows who you truly want to become and so follow that. Follow that and become that person and everything else is going to fall into place. You will be ready when you're ready. 10 years ago I had this vision for all of that stuff. I wasn't ready. I wasn't the person. Now 10 years later I am ready. I am that person. I'm ready to go out and talk about these things. I don't have to pretend and fake. It's not an idea. It's reality. It's how I live my life. It's what I've created. It's what I'm creating every day.
I just need to show up and be that person. Completely different place. That's what I want for you and that's what I want to inspire you to do in your life.
Be the person, listen to that voice inside.
All right, guys. Then cherish this life, right? We never know when it might end. Just enjoy the hell out of it. Focus on love and being that person. All right, guys. Thank you for watching. See you soon.