Lots of people love playing the victim.
It's too hard.
It's not my fault.
What's worse, though, are people playing the hero.
I know, it's hard.
Here, let me do it for you.
The hero gets to feel good about themselves because they're helping the poor victim.
They get to forget their own pain for a minute, while they caretake someone else.
But there's a cost to this.
The victim stays a victim.
Instead of saying something empowering like "I know it's hard, but you can do this"
or "I know this bad thing happened, but what are you going to do next?"
They say or do something that reinforces the victim's position.
Don't be a hero.
Be a coach.
Be someone that helps grow people.